Somewhat Dazed, Mostly Confused
by ThatDipperKid
Summary: Dipper Pines is a anxious, apprehensive bundle of nerves who just can't seem to get himself together. His only companions are the constantly bickering voices in his head, and his infinitely more popular twin sister Mabel. Luckily for him, things are about to change. It's his Freshman year of college, and he's about to meet the girl of his dreams.
1. Chapter 1

Preliminary Author's Note: This is just a silly little romance story. It's (obviously) got some mature themes, so if you're younger than 18, find another story to peruse. Seriously. Mabel and Dipper are eighteen in this story. Please message me if you find any spelling/grammar errors. Thanks, and enjoy!

"Hello College!" shouted Mabel. Dipper groaned and shook his head. He hadn't been here for five minutes and Mabel was already mortifying him. She was dressed in Oregon Technical College gear from head to toe, including a garish pair of lime green sunglasses with the OTC Clover's (the school's mascot) on them. She was jumping up and down and blowing into a party horn that she had insisted on taking with her before they left. "This is great! Right Dip?"

"It's wonderful," said Dipper. "Now we only have three hours before orientation, and I have to help you move in before I move in so-"

"Dude, relax!" said Mabel. "You only have one opening day of college, you know? Why not try to enjoy it?"

 _Why not enjoy it? Because it's college! Because the rest of our lives are leaning on how well we do over these next four years, stupid! What if we fail? Then we have to spend the rest of our lives as janitors, or working for Grunkle Stan in his stupid Shack or something..._

"I'm trying to enjoy it," whined Dipper. "It's just-"

"You're head won't shut up about how college is serious business, right?" asked Mabel.

"Yeah," sighed Dipper. Mabel rapped on his head with her knuckles.

"Hello? Dipper's inner monologue?" Dipper looked around the parking lot to make sure nobody was looking at them. "Hi, it's Mabel. Could you maybe leave Dipper alone for a few hours? He really needs to unwind."

 _Oh haha Mabel, go ahead and make fun of my anxiety. If you had any idea how much pressure I was feeling right now… Christ, it's not even funny. We can't all be happy go lucky all the time._

"It's not shutting up, is it?" asked Mabel.

"No," said Dipper. Mabel shrugged.

"At least I tried," she said. She began taking boxes out from the back of Dipper's ancient Ford Econoline and setting them on the pavement. "Alright, let's start lugging this stuff into our rooms. I'm just so psyched! Don't you feel like this year is going to be awesome?"

"It'll be something all right," said Dipper, "but awesome is not the word I would use for it."


	2. Chapter 2

One. Hour. They had been here for ONE HOUR and Mabel had somehow managed to make two friends. There was Grenda, who was well over six feet tall and musclebound, and Candy, a Korean foreign exchange student who spoke comically broken english. The three girls were walking around like they were joined at the hip, laughing and carousing and making Dipper feel insecure.

 _Face it man, Mabel has always been better at making friends then you. She was voted most likely to make someone smile in the yearbook, she was prom queen, salutatorian. Did you really think things would change when you went to college?_

"Hey-hey, look at that guy," growled Grenda.

"He's got hot buns," said Candy. The girls giggled, and Dipper rolled his eyes.

"See anyone you like?" Mabel asked Dipper. Dipper was about to huff and say no when something caught his eye- a flash of red hair disappearing behind a wall. Dipper blinked.

"Um, no," Dipper said. "Look, do you need anymore help?"

"Nope," said Mabel.

"Good. I'm gonna go, I don't know, wander around or something," Dipper muttered. Before Mabel could answer he was jogging in the direction of the flash of red. He wasn't super familiar with the layout of Freshman Hall. He had looked up some maps online, and was doing his best to remember what they had looked like. He took a left, a right, went up some stairs, took another right, went down some stairs. Before long he was completely lost.

 _All these hallways look exactly the same! They're all so white and sedate, and all the posters are the same stupid school spirit ones. Except for those weird signs that tell you to put on condoms. Geez. Why do people need those?_

 _Well, because not everyone is a virgin. In fact, most people here are not virgins. You just happen to be one of the few who've never managed to get-_

 _ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP!_

Dipper groaned, and shook his head.

"Hey man, are you okay?" someone asked. Dipper turned around, and suppressed a gasp. That was definitely the girl that hair belonged to. She was beautiful. Long red hair down to the small of her back. Green eyes that shone like emeralds. Perfectly white teeth that beamed when she smiled. Her pale face was dotted with freckles. She wasn't wearing any makeup, but she didn't need any. She had one of those face's that was naturally mesmerizing. She was sinewy, likely she was an athlete. She was a little taller than Dipper, maybe 6'1, and she was wearing jeans, red flannel, and a brown lumberjack hat.

 _She's so pretty! Oh, um, by the way… maybe stop staring at her like a TOTAL CREEP and introduce yourself!_

Dipper cleared his throat and stuck out his hand.

"Hello fair maiden-

 _ooooooh man you did not, you did NOT just say that you total jerkoff_

-I'm Dipper Pines," Dipper finished lamely. The redhead giggled, and shook his hand lightly.

"Wendy Corduroy," said the redhead. "And I'm a lot of things, but I'm definitely not a fair maiden."

"Sorry about that," said Dipper. "'I'm a little nervous." Dipper felt a heat building in his cheeks. "N-not because you're pretty-

 _DUDE WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE THE LITERAL WORST_

-although you are, you definitely are! It's, it's just that it's my first day, and I'm lost, and I'm afraid I'm gonna miss orientation, and my sister is showing me up again, and wow is it hot in here or what?"

 _Smooth dude. Real smooth._

Wendy stared at him for a second.

"Oookay," she said. "First off, you need to calm down. You are way too stressed out. This is your first day, right, so just enjoy it! There's no pressure. You miss orientation? So what! All they do there is tell you things you know already." Wendy clapped him on the shoulder. "As for your sister showing you up, I can't do much about that. But I can help you get unlost. I've been living in this dorm for three years."

"But this is the Freshman dorm," said Dipper.

"Yeah, but I'm an RA," said Wendy. "Now where are you trying to go?"

 _Yeah, where are we trying to go? You just decided to go chasing after a girl on a whim, and now we're all out of whack._

"I dunno," said Dipper with a shrug. "I was just looking around, I guess."

"Well me and some of the other RA's are going to play a round of ping-pong before orientation," said Wendy. "Care to join us?" For the first time since he had arrived at school, Dipper smiled.

"Sure!" he said.


	3. Chapter 3

Thompson threw his paddle down and crossed his arms. Wendy had absolutely demolished him. Lee and Nate were whooping and howling with laughter.

"Dude, you can't even beat Wendy!" laughed Nate.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Wendy. "Maybe one of you two would like to play me?" Nate and Lee shut up abruptly. Tambry, who had been sitting in a nearby chair and texting, stood up.

"We need to head over to the Lecture Hall," she said, "orientation is in fifteen."

"Sounds good," said Wendy. "Saddle up everyone." The Dipper and the five RA's exited the student union and moved onto the streets of the campus. Lee and Nate were still taunting Thompson, and Tambry had been sucked into her phone, leaving Dipper behind with Wendy.

"Sorry you didn't get to play," she said.

"Oh it's no problem," murmured Dipper.

 _Of course it isn't a problem. You would have gotten your ass handed to you. Remember that time you tried to play tennis in fifth grade? You fell flat on your face like ten times._

"I think the guys like you," said Wendy. "That's an accomplishment, considering the fact that you're a lowly freshman."

"Really? They like me?" asked Dipper.

 _Who are you, Sally Field?_

"Yeah, that's what I said," said Wendy. "You're a funny little guy, you know that? Not in a bad way though. I kind of like it." Before Dipper could respond, she sped up and punched Thompson in the arm.

 _She… she likes it? Really? She likes us? How is that a thing? No girl has ever liked us before! Well, except for Pacifica, and even then she only went to prom with you out of pity._

 _Woah woah, wait a minute. We're getting a little out of hand here. She likes us, you know, platonically. No need to get carried away._

The group of RA's sped up as they reached the lecture hall, and Dipper followed them inside.


	4. Chapter 4

Wendy had been right. The orientation had been mind-bogglingly boring. It was basically just a bunch of professor's telling the Freshman how important college was, and how if they slacked off they'd get kicked out. As if Dipper needed to be reminded any more of how important this part of his life was.

Now he was alone in his room, absentmindedly lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. He was hoping that Mabel might come and talk to him, but alas, there was no Mabel to be found.

 _Because she's hanging out with people other than her twin brother. Because she's a normal, functioning human being who's capable of making friends._

 _Hey, we made friends! What about Wendy and all the other guys?_

 _Wendy only let you hang out with them because she felt sorry for you. She doesn't actually like you dude. She's just the latest in the series of people who pretend to like you for a while until you get clingy. Trust me, you're always gonna have to find her. She's never going to try and find you._

Dipper sighed, rolled onto his side, and pulled his blankets over him. He was still wearing his clothes, but he didn't really care. He just wanted to sleep…

There was a knock at the door. No way was Dipper answering that. It was just gonna be Mabel, trying to get him to come out of his room and hang out with a bunch of strangers he cared nothing about. Well he didn't want Mabel's pity. All he wanted was to be left alone, to be-

"Dipper? You in there?"

 _Hey, wait a minute. That's not Mabel. That's..._

"Wendy?" called Dipper.

"Yeah, it's me," said Wendy. Dipper threw the blankets off of himself and ran to the door. He threw it open, and locked eyes with the bemused redhead. "How ya doin'?" she asked.

"I'm fine," said Dipper. There was a beat of awkward silence.

"You, uh, you up to anything?" asked Wendy.

"Not really," admitted Dipper. "I was just gonna go to sleep."

"What?" Wendy shook her head. "Dipper, it's nine o' clock."

"I know, I know, it's just I've had a long day and-"

"You're hanging out," said Wendy. She grabbed Dipper by the arm, and forced him out of his room. Dipper barely managed to grab onto the doorknob so the door closed behind him.

"W-Where are we going?" Dipper choked out. Wendy still had him by the arm, and was starting to lead him through the twisting, turning hallways.

"We're going to my room, duh," said Wendy. Dipper's heart-rate quickened.

"R-Really?" he asked.

"Yeah. All the other RA's are there," said Wendy. "We're gonna play video games."

 _Video games dude. That's it. Just video games, so calm the hell down._

"Oh, cool," said Dipper.

"I'm assuming you're pretty good at video games, right?" asked Wendy.

"Yeah, I'm okay," said Dipper.

"Being a little modest?" asked Wendy.

"Maybe a little," simpered Dipper. He gave Wendy a sly grin, which she returned in earnest.

"Dude, that was insane!" said Lee. Dipper had, for the third game in a row, destroyed everybody in Mario Kart 64. It hadn't even been close. Dipper had crossed the finish line before Wendy or Thompson had even finished the second lap.

"Well I've had a lot of practice," said Dipper. "Me and Mabel used to play this all the time when we were kids."

"Is there any game you're not good at?" asked Thompson. "You beat us in Mario Party, Super Smash Bros., Halo. You're like a pro dude."

"I know one game I can beat him at," said Wendy.

"Oh man, not that stupid game," groaned Tambry.

"You don't have to play if you don't want," said Wendy. "I know you want to text anyway." Tambry rolled her eyes, and took out her phone. Wendy smiled at Dipper and began rooting around in her game drawer. At one point she bent over, and Dipper got a good view of her ass. It was well built, and a little bit bigger than someone her size would normally have.

 _She must play field hockey, or something._

Nate tipped him a wink, and Dipper felt his cheeks burn.

"Here we go," said Wendy. She pulled out a large mat, and began to unfurl it. Dipper caught on immediately.

"Oh no, that's okay," he said quickly. "I absolutely cannot dance."

"Hey, I let you kick my butt up and down the room for like three hours," said Wendy. "Now you're gonna let me kick yours."

"Fine," groaned Dipper. Wendy put in Dance Dance Revolution, and started the game up. Over the next fifteen minutes, Dipper embarrassed himself again and again. To say Dipper was uncoordinated would be like saying an ocean is a little moist. Dipper flip flopped all over the mats like an angry, wet seal, while Wendy moved swiftly and carefully. Wendy got nearly 100% on most of the songs, while Dipper was averaging about 60. He was sweaty and exhausted by the time Wendy popped the disk back out and rolled the mat back up.

"Boo-ya!" shouted Wendy. She high fived the other RA's.

"It was a good try Dipper," said Lee, "but nobody can beat Corduroy at that game."

"It's my speciality," said Wendy. There was a knock on the door, and Wendy jogged over to it. She opened it, and frowned. A pale, greasy haired kid was standing at the threshold. He wore eyeliner, and was almost unhealthily thin. Dipper was reminded of a young Severus Snape, only a lot less magical and a lot more whiny.

"Hey Wendy," the new kid said.

"Robbie," replied Wendy. She had crossed her arms.

"I was just wondering what everyone was up too," Robbie muttered.

"Well we were playing video games, but seeing as how it's nearly two in the morning, I think we're all going to bed." The ground all nodded in agreement

"What? Come on, it's still early," said Robbie.

"Yeah, if you're a vampire," said Wendy. Robbie rolled his eyes.

"Fine, be that way," he said. "You know, I expected you to have gotten over me by now."

"I am over you, dickhead!" said Wendy. "I'm so over you I don't even know what to do with myself."

"Yeah right," said Robbie. He walked away, chuckling to himself. Wendy slammed the door.

"Ugh, I hate that guy," said Wendy bitterly

."We all do," said Thompson.

"Yeah, you can't say we didn't warn you about him," said Nate. Wendy groaned.

"I know, I know," she said. "I'm never rushing into a relationship again. Especially not with any weirdo goth kids." She yawned, and stretched. "Alright guys, we've got an earlyish day tomorrow, so we need to hit it. Dipper, I'll walk you back to your room." The group exchanged goodbyes, and after a while Dipper and Wendy were walking along the corridors. Dipper noted that the halls still weren't quiet. While he and the RA's had decided to be responsible, it seemed like most of Freshman Hall was going to have a rough day tomorrow. They reached Dipper's door.

"Thanks for letting me hang out," said Dipper. "It was a lot of fun."

"I didn't let you hang out dude," said Wendy. "We all had a good time chillin' with you. You're a cool guy." Wendy leaned in, and kissed him on the cheek. "See you tomorrow." She walked away, giving him a last wave as she turned the corner. Dipper stood in the hall, silent, perplexed, and incredibly, blissfully happy.


	5. Chapter 5

A month had passed in the blink of an eye. It seemed like time worked differently in this place. Everything was going by at supersonic speed. Dipper had never been an A student, but God were things difficult. He was spending most of his time studying, not by choice, but because he was barely keeping up with the coursework.

He wasn't seeing Mabel nearly as much as he thought he would. She had very quickly found a group of friends that really enjoyed her company, and she was spending a lot of time with them. To his surprise though, he had also developed a group of friends: the RA's. He hung out with them almost every day, and in a really weird way had become a sort of intermediary between them and the rest of the Freshman. People came to him if they needed to ask the RA's something embarrassing, or potentially damaging. Just yesterday some football player had asked him to tell Wendy that he had put a gigantic hole in the student union wall. It felt good to not only have friends, but to be appreciated by the rest of his class.

The only thing he didn't like was his Intro to Lit class. It was his only advanced class, and the majority of people he was taking it with were Sophomores and Juniors. One of those Juniors was Robbie, and he made no effort to conceal his jealous, angry glares from Dipper. Wendy had refused to see the skeletal misanthrope all year, and he was not happy about it.

Overall though, things were good. And on this day, things were even better than usual. To his surprise he had aced his first major term paper, and his heart was flying high. He ran to Wendy's room, and knocked on the door. Wendy opened it with a smile.

"How ya doin' Dip-stick?' she asked.

"Fine, uh, Wendy-bendy," Dipper said. Wendy burst out laughing.

"You are such a weirdo," she giggled. After she composed herself, she invited him in. He walked into the room, and looked around. There was no one else there. He had never been in Wendy's room alone before. It was usually filled with the laughter and shouts of the other RA's. It felt strangely quiet. He heard the door click, and turned around. Wendy was leaning against the wall. "So what's going on?"

"Nothing much," said Dipper.

 _What are we feeling right now? I think the word might be foreboding. Yeah, that's a good word for it. There's a definite sense of foreboding in the air._

"I see," said Wendy. "So you just wanted to hang out?"

"Yeah," said Dipper. Wendy walked over to him, and put her hands on his shoulders. Her eyelids were low, and her lips were tight. Her breasts were inches from his face.

 _LOOK UP, LOOK UP, LOOK INTO HER EYES_

There was a knock at the door. Wendy blinked, seeming to come out of some sort of daze. She opened the door. Robbie stood there, hands in his pockets.

"Wendy," he said. "What's going on?" Wendy went to close the door, but Robbie caught it with his hand. "Seriously? Can't we just talk?"

"No Robbie," said Wendy. "I don't want to talk to you.

"Look, stop being such a-" Robbie paused. He leaned to the left, and made eye contact with Dipper. His smug smile evaporated, and was replaced by a malicious frown. "Oh, I see what's going on here. You've replaced me already, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" said Wendy. "Just get out of here before I call campus security!"

"Go ahead and enjoy it while you can, kid," said Robbie. "She'll chew you up and spit you out. That is, if you measure up to her other lovers. What are you on now, hun? Seven, eight?"

Dipper saw red. He marched forward, and saw Robbie's face change from triumph to fear. His fist was flying out before he could stop it. He felt his knuckles hit cartilage, and Robbie let out a roar of pain. He bolted, leaving a trail of blood behind him.

 _Uh-oh. That was not a good idea. That was not a good idea at all._


	6. Chapter 6

"At least you didn't get expelled," sighed Mabel.

"But I'm on probation," said Dipper. "One more step out of line, and it's all over." He was sitting in a corner of the room, his knees pulled up to his chin. He rocked back and forth. His hair was uncombed, his pajama bottoms stained with cheeto dust.

"You'll be fine," said Mabel. "Just leave Robbie alone. It shouldn't be that hard, you only have one class with him."

"But what if he instigates me?" said Dipper. "He seems like the kind of person that would do that kind of thing."

"You can handle it Dip," Mabel said.

 _Maybe I can, maybe I can't. I just don't know. I really, really don't know._


	7. Chapter 7

There was a knock on Mabel's door. Mabel, who had been half asleep, blinked the tiredness out of her eyes. She stretched, and wiped the off the drool that had been collecting at the bottom of her algebra notes. She walked to the door, and opened it.

"Hi Mabel," said Wendy. Mabel raised her eyebrows. Wendy was Dipper's friend, not hers. She had hung out with Wendy maybe once or twice, and the redhead had never seem interested in spending anymore time together.

"Hey Wendy," said Mabel. "What's up?"

"Can I come in?" asked Wendy. "I really need to talk to you."

"Sure," said Mabel. She was grateful for the company. It was crunch time, and Mabel had been spending most of her time studying. Normally she studied with Dipper, but he had shut himself off ever since the Robbie incident. It had been almost a month since then. Mabel had hoped that he would get over it, that he would realize what he did was justified, but he never did. He just sat in his room, studying and worrying. Wendy stepped in and found a chair.

"It's about Dipper," said Wendy.

"I thought so," said Mabel. She sat on her bed, across from Wendy's chair. "You're worried about him, right?"

"Yeah," said Wendy. "He's been so standoffish. I mean, he wasn't exactly a social butterfly before, I had to drag him out of his room every time I wanted to hang out with him, but now he won't even say hi to me." Mabel sighed deeply.

"Dipper is…" she trailed off. "Well, he's... " she tapped her chin with her finger. "He worries about things. Really, really worries about things. He can't stop himself from doing it. When he got in trouble for punching Robbie, it really set him off. Now he thinks if he puts a toe out of line, he's going to get expelled."

"But why does that mean he can't hang out with me?" asked Wendy.

"That's a little hard to explain," said Mabel. "I guess in Dipper's mind, he wants to avoid Robbie and all Robbie related situations. You're Robbie's ex, and Robbie has a propensity for visiting you. Therefore, if Dipper wants to avoid Robbie, he has to avoid you."

"But I don't like Robbie!" said Wendy. "I never want to see him again!"

"I know, and I think Dipper knows, but…" Mabel rubbed her temples. "Look, Dipper just has a funny way of looking at the world. It's really hard to describe."

"Well I miss him," said Wendy. Tears began to collect in the corner of her eyes. Mabel felt her jaw drop.

"You like him, don't you?" asked Mabel.

"Of course I do!" said Wendy. "He's really cool, you know? He's smart, and he's a lot of fun, and he makes me laugh because he's so stupid and nervous all the time-"

Mabel was doing her best to keep from jumping in the air and screeching for joy. A girl actually like Dipper! He wouldn't be lonely anymore! Except…

"You need to snap him out of it," said Mabel. Wendy was wiping her eyes with her shirt sleeves.

"How?" Wendy asked.

"You need to do something really over the top," said Mabel. "Something that the little voice in his head absolutely can't misconstrue as a negative experience."

"Like what?" asked Wendy. Mabel shrugged.

"You just have to make sure he knows how you feel," said Mabel. Wendy stood up abruptly, and nodded.

"Okay," Wendy said. She marched towards the door, and flung it open. She turned and said," thanks Mabel," before she shut the door behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

The only thing keeping Dipper company was the soft pitter-patter of the rain against the window. He had finished his homework, was done studying, and didn't much feel like playing video games, so he was in bed. It was only 8 o'clock but for some reason he felt very tired. He had been feeling tired a lot lately.

He really, really missed hanging out with Wendy. He thought about her constantly. Her laugh, her smile, the way she always punched his arm when he did something funny. It was like a plague in his mind.

But he couldn't hang out with Wendy, not anymore. Robbie hung around Wendy, and Dipper couldn't get near Robbie. He had already moved his desk all the way to the back of his Lit class, and started showing up fifteen minutes early just so he wouldn't have to interact with the goth boy at all. It was a pain in the ass, but it was necessary. He just couldn't get in trouble. He couldn't get thrown out. If he did, it was all over.

There was a gentle knock at the door. Dipper sighed and looked down on himself. He was wearing sweatpants, and a loose Nirvana T-shirt. He had just recently showered, but he still looked like a mess. He rolled out of his bed, and walked over to the door.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"It's Wendy," answered a soft voice.

"Wendy!" Dipper cried. A thousand emotions raced through him. Fear, happiness, excitement, nervousness, sadness. He suddenly wished he was better dressed. He stood up as straight as he could, and threw open the door. There she stood, and she was soaking wet. She was clutching herself and shivering.

"H-hi buddy," she said.

"Oh my God Wendy, you're soaked!" Dipper replied. "Hold on, let me get you a towel." He raced to the bathroom, skidding over the tiles. He pulled one of his monogrammed towels from the rack, turned to go see Wendy, and paused. He decided to sniff the towel to make sure it wasn't musty. It smelt like laundry detergent; Mabel must have done his washing without telling him again. He walked out, his chest puffed out. He was the big man. He was the hero. He was-

OhmygodwhyisWendyinherunderwear-

 _Deep breath. Pause. Compose yourself. There you go. Okay. Wendy is here, in my room. She's only wearing her underwear. Her bra is lacy and black, almost like something out of a Victoria's Secret catalogue. It's probably a B-cup, maybe a C. Her panites are frilly and pink. What's that pattern? Flowers? It's very pretty. Wait, don't black and pink clash? Why are you thinking that!? She's practically naked in front of you, you dummy! Stop staring and say something!_

"Umm…" Dipper gulped. "Hello," he squeaked.

"Hi," said Wendy. Her jeans, shoes, and green T-shirt had been tossed casually into the corner of the room. She walked over to Dipper, and took the towel out of his hands. She began drying her hair,

 _Her beautiful red hair, I bet it smells awesome. Is it weird to want to smell hair? Am I a weird person?_

 _AGAIN, YOUR CRUSH IS HALF NAKED IN FRONT OF YOU, IF YOU COULD PLEASE PAY ATTENTION, THAT'D BE GREAT!_

gently running the towel through it. She moved down to her breasts. Instinctively, Dipper turned away. Wendy laughed, and grabbed his shoulder. Dipper gulped.

"You're allowed to look," Wendy whispered. "In fact, that's kind of the point." Dipper suppressed a whimper. He slowly turned around. She was still drying off her breasts. The bounced gently as she ran the towel over them. The rain had rendered her bra almost completely see through. Dipper's heartbeat quickened.

 _That's normal, right? We don't have a heart condition, do we? Oh man, it'd be so embarrassing if we dropped dead in the middle of this, I'd be DIPPER OH MY GOD WOULD YOU PLEASE, PLEASE STOP THINKING FOR FIVE SECONDS_

She moved down again, starting to towel off her legs. They were smooth, she must have just shaved recently. He noticed that her toenails weren't painted. He figured that they probably wouldn't be. If Wendy didn't like makeup, why would she like nail polish? She tossed the towel back at Dipper. It landed on Dipper's head, and slowly slipped down his face. As the towel fell off and coiled around his feet, Wendy burst out laughing. Dipper blushed.

"Do, do you want me to take your clothes to the dryer?" asked Dipper. Wendy slowly stopped laughing, and walked over to Dipper. She was feet- now inches- now molecules away…

 _Her breath smells like mint…_

"Do you like me Dipper?" asked Wendy. Dipper nodded. "Then no, I do not want you to put my clothes in the dryer. I want you to kiss me." And he did, without hesitation. His lips met hers in a fury. He grabbed the back of her neck with his right hand, and the small of her back with his left. His kisses were fast, dry, awkward. His eyes were still open, and Wendy could feel his teeth on her lips. Wendy pulled away. "Woah boy, calm down there a little," said Wendy.

"Sorry," said Dipper. He was vaguely aware he was panting. "I just, this is all just-"

"A little overwhelming?" asked Wendy. Dipper bit his lip. Wendy raised her eyebrows. "Dipper," she said slowly. "Have you ever kissed a girl before?"

"Yes!" blurted Dipper. "During senior prom!"

"Uh huh," said Wendy. "And have you kissed anyone since?" Dipper bit his lower lip again, this time hard enough to make him wince.

"No," he muttered. Wendy moved his hands off of her neck and back.

 _YOU ARE AN IDIOT! Oh my GOD, why would you admit that? What is wrong with you? Now she thinks you're a total loser, a total worthless loser. She was throwing herself at you, and you dropped the fucking ball! Oh man, I can't believe it. We are never getting laid. Never, ever, ever, ever-_

Wendy took his hands in hers, and led him over to his bed. She sat down, and Dipper sat down next to her. Dipper was doing his best to look her in the eyes despite the fact that she was bearing all her assets to him.

"I'm sorry," murmured Dipper.

"What for?" asked Wendy. "Look dude, there's nothing wrong with being inexperienced."

"But I'm eighteen," said Dipper. "I should have had a girlfriend or something by now."

"Everybody's different," said Wendy. "It's nothing to be ashamed of." Dipper smiled.

"Thanks," he said. Wendy scooted up closer to him. He could feel the heat of her skin. Her hands tightened on his. Dipper's heart began to beat again, and his mouth began to dry.

"Why don't we take this slow," said Wendy. She leaned in. He could smell her minty breath again, and his mind was blissfully empty. "Close your eyes." Dipper did. "Now open your mouth just a little bit." Again, Dipper complied. He felt Wendy's lips on his. She was slow, careful. Her lips were soft, wet. They hung on each other for a while, Dipper involuntarily clenching his hands over Wendy's. Wendy gently moved back.

"That was nice," said Dipper.

"Yeah, it was." Woah. Wendy's voice was different. It was… huskier, or something. Before he could think on it any further she met his lips again. This kiss was deeper, more intense. She broke away quickly, and before Dipper could even breath she was on him again. He let go of her hands, and desperately fumbled over her body. He felt wet, warm skin, and oh my God this was amazing. His hands found her arms, and her hands found his hips. Wendy came up for air, and Dipper opened his eyes.

They stared at each other, both panting.

"You're a really quick learner," said Wendy.

"It's one of my good qualities," said Dipper.

"One of the many," said Wendy. Her hands moved from his hips to his chest, and she pushed him down with surprising strength. Dipper suppressed a yelp as his back hit the mattress. She swung her legs up onto the bed, and straddled him.

It was too much. Dipper let out a throaty groan. He could feel her heat on him, on that most sensitive part of him. He hadn't noticed until now, but he was [i] hard [/i]. His manhood ached, crushed against Wendy's butt.

Wendy was having some issues of her own. Her eyes had widened. He was big. Not anything crazy, but definitely bigger than anyone else she had been with. She felt a primal stirring within her, a sort of heat that was beginning to build. She leaned forward to lay on him. They began kissing again. This time Dipper was using his tongue, and he was actually good at it. Wendy gasped, and Dipper finally realized that she was as into this as he was.

"Take your shirt off," Wendy ordered. She pushed herself up with her hands so Dipper had room to maneuver. He struggled with it for a second, but finally managed to pull his T-shirt over his mess of curly hair. He wasn't muscular, maybe even a little chubby, but Wendy didn't care. It was infinitely better than the skeleton she had slept with for eight months. He had a larger than average amount of chest hair, which she ran her hand through. She playfully pinched a nipple, and to her surprise he let a lusty groan.

She had an idea. She gave him a quick peck on the lips, and she moved down to his neck. She blazed a trail of kisses down from his jaw, to his clavicle, to his pec, and finally landed on his nipple. Wendy felt Dipper's entire body seize under her, and he let out a contented whimper. Normally this was something the guy did to her. She always enjoyed nipple play, but had never met a guy who liked it.

Wendy was really enjoying this. Being on top, being in control. That heat began building even more rapidly. Her hands moved down to his waistband. She grasped it, and began to pull, but Dipper grabbed her wrists.

"Hold on!" he said urgently. His eyes widened. "I, I, we need to slow down some more."

"Oh, sorry," she said dejectedly. She let go of his waistband.

"It's okay, I just…" Dipper began to blush. He turned such a deep shade of red that he was practically purple. "I'm just having a good time, and I'd like to continue to have a good time for, you know, a while." Comprehension dawned on Wendy.

"Gotcha," she said. A slow smile began to creep over her face. "Hey Dipper?"

"Yeah?"

"Guess what?"

"Uh, what?"

"I'm about to blow your freakin' mind dude." She reached behind her. Dipper scratched the back of his head, and opened his mouth to ask a question. Before the words could come out, Wendy said, "God, I hate these freaking snaps." Dipper realized what was about to happen. He hadn't thought his heart could beat any faster. He was wrong. Wendy tossed her bra aside, and Dipper was pretty sure he was going to have an aneurysm

They were perfect, just perfect. Definitely b-cups, but that was cool, he didn't like them super big. Her nipples were small, perky, pink, perfection. He took them both in his hands, and squeezed. Wendy hissed.

"Sorry," he said. He let up on them a little, rubbing them instead of squeezing them.

"There ya go," Wendy crooned. As he massaged her, Wendy began to run her hands

through Dipper's hair. Dipper gently pinched one of her nipples, and she squealed.

The sound of her unbridled joy woke something in him. He took her other nipple, and pinched it as well. Wendy moaned. The beast that had awoken within him roared in triumph.

"F-flick them," Wendy said. Dipper did, and Wendy took a handful of his hair and pulled. He yelped, although the sensation was not altogether painful. "L-l-little circles," she commanded. He obliged, and Wendy began to lose her mind. She pulled harder at his hair. His eyes watered, but he didn't relent. She backed up onto him, and suddenly her weight was on him again, and he gasped. He leaned forward, gently scooching her back. That was a close call. He sighed in relief, grateful for the breather, and then she grabbed him.

The noise that came out of Dipper wasn't so much a moan as it was a huge gasp of relief. This was the first time that anybody other than himself had touched him down there. Her fingers were wonderful. They explored his length, caressing him gently. He began to feel the pressure building.

"I'm not sure I can handle this," admitted Dipper. Wendy smiled.

"It's okay," said Wendy. "Trust me." Wendy grabbed his waistband, and slowly pulled down his sweatpants. He stood erect, all ten inches of him, a thin piece of fabric hanging between him and the outside world. Dipper bit his lip, and rubbed his elbow. Wendy took him in her hands again. Dipper stopped rubbing his elbow, and white-knuckled the side of the bed. Wendy slid his dick out of his boxers, spit on her palm, and began to pump him. He was out-and-out moaning now, inches away from losing his mind.

"Oh man, I'm sorry," said Dipper, "I'm sorry but-"

"It's fine, I get it," said Wendy. "Go ahead and cum." And that was all Dipper needed to hear. He let out a high pitched shout, and felt himself letting go. The world became white hot, and for a brief second all of Dipper's senses left him. Wendy looked around, and found a box of tissues on Dipper nightstand. She quickly wiped herself off, and tossed the used kleenex in the garbage. Dipper meanwhile, pulled his boxers back up over himself.

"Holy shit," said Dipper.

"Was that good?" asked Wendy.

"Understatement of the century," said Dipper.

"Well, now it's my turn," she said. Dipper blinked.

"Oh! Oh right, well of course it is," he said. He sat up, and Wendy moved off of his legs, until her rump was on the bed. He stared down at her crotch.

"Hands," said Wendy.

"Huh?"

"Show me your hands, like this." Wendy extended her hands, palms facing down, and spread her fingers. Dipper mirrored her movements. She grabbed his hands, and checked his fingers.

"What exactly are we doing?" He asked

"I'm checking to make sure that your hands are clean, and your nails are trimmed," said Wendy. Dipper felt his cheeks burning.

"Right, that makes sense," he said. "Do I pass inspection?"

"You do," she said. "Now we need to have a little bit of a frank talk. Try not to get too embarrassed."

"O-okay," said Dipper.

"So I know you've never been with a girl," said Wendy. "And to be honest, what I got going on down there is a lot more complicated than what you have going on. Know what I mean?"

"Yeah," said Dipper.

"So rather than let you stumble through it, I'm going to show you what I like." Wendy grinned. "And then you can follow my lead. Comprende?" Dipper was very quick on the uptake. A surge of heat rushed through him again, and although he had been spent only a few seconds ago, he felt his dick twitch. Wendy had never seen another person make a face like that. She realized that she may have accidentally found one of Dipper's fetishes- he liked to be dominated, at least a little.

"I am very, very okay with that," Dipper said.

"Good," said Wendy. She laid down, and slowly slid her panties down. She hadn't shaved in a while, but Dipper couldn't care less. His heart was pounding again, and his inner beast was feeling ravenous. Wendy tossed her underwear aside, and spread her legs. She felt a momentary shock of discomfort- something about being stared at so intently made her a little embarrassed- but it quickly passed.

Dipper watched as she gently began to massage her outer lips, teasing herself. She slowly moved to her inner lips, rubbing them, until her fingers eventually found their way to her clit. She began to rub herself in counter-clockwise circles. She groaned, and grasped her breast. Dipper watched as she began to pick up the pace. Her fingers got faster and faster, nearly blurring with speed. Dipper was getting hard again, he could feel it, and the beast inside him was demanding satisfaction. He reached out, and found her fingers. She got the hint, and moved her own digits away.

Her hips bucked when he touched her. Her fingers were bigger than hers, more manly, and he was touching her perfectly. She had tried to do this with Robbie, but he had gotten offended at her, telling her that he already knew how to please a woman. Robbie had just stuck his bony fingers inside her, hurting her more than pleasuring her. But not Dipper. He knew how to follow instructions, and good God was he a fast learner. And then he stopped. She raised her head just in time to see Dipper's own head moving down.

"Oh, yes!" she screamed. His tongue was there now, moving fast. She pushed herself into him, grinding herself against his face as he ate her out. She hadn't told him how to do, but he didn't need to be told. He was working her like no one in her life had before. She had never dreamed that this could feel as good as it did. Christ, this almost felt better than sex. Her hips were bucking, and she was losing control. That white hot energy was building in her stomach. She clamped her hands over her mouth to keep from screaming like a murder victim. He got faster, and she got closer, and before long she was over the edge, her eyes rolling into the back of her head, her body twitching and shivering as her orgasm rolled through her.

Dipper got up from the bed, and found the kleenexes. He cleaned his face off, and sat back down.

"Holy shit," whispered Wendy.

"That, um, that was good?" asked Dipper.

"That was beyond good," said Wendy. She took him by his shoulders, and made him lay down on the bed. She spooned him, her being the big spoon, and gently caressed his hair. "Remind me to come over here more often."

"Don't worry, I will," said Dipper. He kept expecting that annoying little voice in his head to say something, anything, but it was blissfully two closed their eyes, their breathing eventually matching each other. After a few minutes they both faded into sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

The semester was nearly over. Wendy and Dipper sat together on top of the high hill that towered above the OTC campus. They could see the students below them scurrying around like little ants. The couple had found this place a little while back, and generally spent at least one night a week up here. Dipper rolled his backpack off his shoulder, and dug inside. He pulled out a wrapped package, and presented it.

"Happy monthiversary!" said Dipper. Wendy rolled her eyes, but took the present out of his hand anyway. She tore open the wrapping paper, and popped the top off the cardboard box. She gasped. It was a silver pendant with her name on it.

"Dipper, this is amazing!" she said. She put it around her neck. "I'm sorry, but I didn't get you anything. I've never celebrated a monthiversary before."

"I know it's a little weird," Dipper said, "but I've never had a monthiversary before, ya know?"

"I guess," said Wendy.

"Well, don't worry about not getting me anything this time," Dipper said. "You can get me something on our next monthiversary." She snuggled up next to him, putting her head on his shoulder.

"It's so nice up here," she said.

"Yeah, it is," Dipper agreed. He turned his head, and they kissed. "I'm glad I found it," he said. Wendy smiled.

"I'm glad you found it too." They sat together, taking everything in. Dipper had never, not in a million years, expected something like this to happen. He felt like he was in some sort of weird Beauty and the Beast scenario. He felt like if he blinked, it might all disappear. Like it was some sort of dream.

"I'm gonna miss you over break," Dipper said. "It's gonna be weird not getting to see you any time I want to."

"Yeah," said Wendy, "but we have phones and computers and stuff. We can still keep in touch."

"True, but it's just not the same," said Dipper.

"I know," whispered Wendy. They sat in silence for a minute.

"Wendy, can I say something?" asked Dipper.

"You know you can," said Wendy.

"I just, well… thanks," Dipper said. Wendy chuckled.

"You're such a weirdo Dipper." She kissed him gently on the cheek. "But that's why I like you so much." She snuggled up next to him. The pair watched the world unfold before them. Dipper had to admit that he was worried about a lot of things. Worried about what would happen to them over break. Worried that Wendy was two years older than him, and that she'd have to leave him sometime. Worried that he was too young to be feeling like this… worried that this would all fall apart. But for some reason, when he was with Wendy, none of these worries really bothered him that much. Those annoying voices in his head always seemed to shut up.

"You know something?" asked Wendy.

"What?" said Dipper.

"I know exactly what I'm gonna get you for our next monthiversary," said Wendy.

"Oh really? What were you thinking?" Dipper asked.

"Handcuffs," said Wendy with a devilish grin. Dipper turned scarlet, and Wendy let out a gale of laughter.


End file.
